Steven spielberg in a shower.

Okay so i have a pound of garlic in my mouth from making an extreme veg slash pasta slash LOADS of CHEEEESE (mmm i love cheese) meal for myself and helpful friends at 2am.

I feel like a fat hooker, you know - like huge, underpaid, and aesthaetically repulsive.

Apparently these things happen to girls. That would probably make me like the alpha girl.
That could be a mad cool comic. Imagine me in a tutu with like a iron on lightening bolt attached to my lumo yellow shirt with "AG" right underneath that in some pathetically quintessential font. And my super powers are like moaning ALOT and eating and breaking mirrors......
...Wow.I give up on my life right NOW.

Right ,so now that im on vacation after for a month until college starts again ive been waitering most days to make money for our trip to Cape Town in like two weeks. Sweet DEAL!
(I know its not the Alps or Indonesia or Bali or something else ridiculously exoctic. But where i live it can get ridiculously boring ridiculously quickly, so a change is as good as a holiday...literally)

Okay back the to point at hand.
I really like kids but not the prepubescent 14 year old types (although if they had it there way they would not allow me to refer to them as kids).This of course is with the exception of my sister who i will now refer to as "Nancy". BAHA! Ive really always wanted to do that..You know when they do it in magazine articles and they're like "who will now be known as Petunia for the person concerned's safety"and then they asterix it all so it look major cool.

Woah i just went for a little potty session totally off track there.

Yeah so waitering= serving people=serving peoples kids.
=AHHHH!
not so much the little ones but like i mentioned the other ones.
The ones i served today were peashooting each other. So when their parents werent looking i threatend to break them in two and use there ribs to feed people if they carried on. And then the "ah im a tomboy so i can be cocky and cool and alternative" girls are the ones that get me. So said girl after much annoying the bajeezus outta me asks for a glass of water, so im like yes hold on two seconds. Then she asks a second time so i kick her in the shins and ripped out her uterus say okay and get her the glass of water. Im a pushover.
But thats only when i have the waitress hat on. Wait no, dont get the wrong idea i dont actually weara hat. Its a metaphor you swap donkey.
Okay so i got dragged with my other friend(candice) to my other friend(lee) house after work. Mblablabla. So anyhow theyre all drunk( i dont drink so its ten times funnier for me to watch).I make the pasta and were about to eat it, and the one guy there has his first bite and he says -"wow this fork tastes like candices sweat"

And were all convinced hes on crack and were laughing and spitting out pasta pieces everywhere. Then he gets his fork out and starts singing some weird song and making the fork do breakdancing and turns it on its holding end and tells us to "shhh its busy head spinning".
Somy stomach hurts its three in the morning and i want to sleep.

Night y'all


*nancy is not really nancy