Steven spielberg in a shower.

Okay so i have a pound of garlic in my mouth from making an extreme veg slash pasta slash LOADS of CHEEEESE (mmm i love cheese) meal for myself and helpful friends at 2am.

I feel like a fat hooker, you know - like huge, underpaid, and aesthaetically repulsive.

Apparently these things happen to girls. That would probably make me like the alpha girl.
That could be a mad cool comic. Imagine me in a tutu with like a iron on lightening bolt attached to my lumo yellow shirt with "AG" right underneath that in some pathetically quintessential font. And my super powers are like moaning ALOT and eating and breaking mirrors......
...Wow.I give up on my life right NOW.

Right ,so now that im on vacation after for a month until college starts again ive been waitering most days to make money for our trip to Cape Town in like two weeks. Sweet DEAL!
(I know its not the Alps or Indonesia or Bali or something else ridiculously exoctic. But where i live it can get ridiculously boring ridiculously quickly, so a change is as good as a holiday...literally)

Okay back the to point at hand.
I really like kids but not the prepubescent 14 year old types (although if they had it there way they would not allow me to refer to them as kids).This of course is with the exception of my sister who i will now refer to as "Nancy". BAHA! Ive really always wanted to do that..You know when they do it in magazine articles and they're like "who will now be known as Petunia for the person concerned's safety"and then they asterix it all so it look major cool.

Woah i just went for a little potty session totally off track there.

Yeah so waitering= serving people=serving peoples kids.
=AHHHH!
not so much the little ones but like i mentioned the other ones.
The ones i served today were peashooting each other. So when their parents werent looking i threatend to break them in two and use there ribs to feed people if they carried on. And then the "ah im a tomboy so i can be cocky and cool and alternative" girls are the ones that get me. So said girl after much annoying the bajeezus outta me asks for a glass of water, so im like yes hold on two seconds. Then she asks a second time so i kick her in the shins and ripped out her uterus say okay and get her the glass of water. Im a pushover.
But thats only when i have the waitress hat on. Wait no, dont get the wrong idea i dont actually weara hat. Its a metaphor you swap donkey.
Okay so i got dragged with my other friend(candice) to my other friend(lee) house after work. Mblablabla. So anyhow theyre all drunk( i dont drink so its ten times funnier for me to watch).I make the pasta and were about to eat it, and the one guy there has his first bite and he says -"wow this fork tastes like candices sweat"

And were all convinced hes on crack and were laughing and spitting out pasta pieces everywhere. Then he gets his fork out and starts singing some weird song and making the fork do breakdancing and turns it on its holding end and tells us to "shhh its busy head spinning".
Somy stomach hurts its three in the morning and i want to sleep.

Night y'all


*nancy is not really nancy

Maybe One day I'll Marry Bubble boy

My eyes are all moggy (as of now that IS an adjective) and if my nose was capable of smelling right now im pretty sure my breath would reek of tissues and old spice.

I whipped out this "all in one" flu syrup (i didnt know flu was just a part of "all") today, knowing that ive had success with it before i was pretty sure it would work this time. As we know my body only lets medicines work for limited periods of time , in this case once off.

Its like i build up an immunity to things that should be building my immunitys. Okay that makes no sense.Maybe if you read it upside down it would be clearer.I dunno.Hmm, head rush.

Okay so all in "all" it didnt work, id say much to my dismay.But i had no dismay to start out with. Stupid crap never works twice for me. I "glugged" it (adjective No.2 for today kids) down, and i mean that in all senses of the word. It felt like i was regurgatating a weeks collection of mucous and then swallowing it again. Delightful. Really.


On an unrelated note thanks to a message at 7am this morning i have Right Said Fred's "Im Too Sexy" song stuck inside my head.
I couldnt hear my mom when she was yelled for me earlier so i screamed over her voice "Im too sexy for Milan New York and Japan". Needless to say she stopped yelling.
(oh and for some reason its pronounced "Jah-pahn")

Tomorrow i will attack my ceiling fan with a duster. Today i fell back on my bed(how dramatic)and noticed chubakkah/chewbakah/chewbakkah-jees who the hell knows who to spell that googles just as confused as me- sized clumps of dust on each one of the blades.Im pretty certain thats why my allergies are so bad.Screw that whole pollen, bla bla winter bla bla your father ate a goat story.I WEAR warm clothes and own blankets and live in a place wear winter is almost non-existant and i DO NOT have flowers in my room that partake in regular pollen parties.I realise there is some logic attached to that argument but seriously, it can only go so far.

But first i need to get a hold of a freaking gas mask or one of those suits those bee-keepers wear.Or make a suit like the one bubble boy has.Yes my mom actually suggested i make one of those .Shes quick like that.Always thinking ahead.

That being said,Im gonna go drown my eyes in eye drops now.

"...and ill do my little dance on the catwalk"